This was not what I envisioned on this day.

SOMEBODY decided that she needed to locate a dead animal of unknown origin and type somewhere in the forest.

Then, she simply had to roll in it. I discovered this fact when I touched her to remove her leash. I knew I was in for it when I touched something sticky.

A question- why on earth would I sniff my hand afterward? To confirm that the wretched animal delighted in the stench of a departed beast so much that she had to dive into said carcass? It was a reflex, and a dumb one. Wow, did that reek.

On the other hand, I’d rather have a stinky hand than a stinky couch. Because I’m sure the next step was to go in the house and roll around on her favorite perch. To give us all the gift that keeps giving, of course.

Nope, didn’t happen, and I didn’t need to throw a perfectly good piece of furniture on the fire.

Straight into the shower with her and half a bottle of dog shampoo, immediately, full stop.

A friend pointed out that she surely wanted to bring us a gift. Well, she did. A delightfully clean dog, ahead of schedule.

Laughs! Crazy mutt.